Leon Franklin: Author

Noel F Bennett: Film Maker

Bennett Family Tree

Friends of St. Clare's 
Linger for Laughter
Linger for Laughter
I wrote this as part of my GCSE English Course just recently. (2015) It was called a controlled assessment and asked us to write a podcast about something that interests us for an audience of our choice.

NOTE: Once typed, a script for radio would have two or three line spaces between each written speech line and a larger font would be used. No page would finish mid sentence and an indication (e.g. More...) would be made if the speaking part continued on the next page. All words are spoken accept instructions and directions shown in red and/or bracketed. There is, I learn, a genuine Laugh at Work Week which always starts on the 1st April. When I decided to write this piece I Googled National Laugh Week because there is usually a week for just about everything and Laugh at Work Week came up.

-----------------------------------------------------
Chris Evans Breakfast Show: BBC Radio 2
Slot Title: Linger for Laughter
Broadcast Date: 1st April 2014 - Time: 09.15am. - Duration: 5 minutes
Presenter: Rev. Happy Harry
Sound effects: Audience laughing (No.32 - 4 seconds: 33 - Louder 6 seconds: 34 - Raucous 8 seconds)
Intro/Exit Music: Happy Days Theme

(Music begins and starts to fade slowly after 30 seconds)

CHRIS EVANS: (Talking over fading music)
You’re listening to the Chris Evens Breakfast show on BBC Radio 2, online, on digital and on 88 to 91 FM.

As today is the start of International ‘Laugh at Work Week’ - our normal ‘Pause for Thought’ slot – is being replaced with ‘Linger for Laughter’.

Each day, at this time, one of our funniest religious gurus will be here to entertain you.

Today we have Happy Harry the irreverent reverend from Rochdale, to give us his hilarious, yet heavenly contribution. He’s all revved up and raring to go so - go for it Harry!

HAPPY HARRY:                Well – thank you so much Chris for that wonderful introduction.
                       
Good morning listeners!

Has God got a sense of humour?

Well most of us only have to stand naked in front of a full length mirror to know that God must have a very good sense of humour.

CHRIS EVANS: (Play sound effect 32)

HAPPY HARRY:               So thank God He shared that sense of humour with us and we are going to celebrate that every day this week.

First listeners, I have a confession to make. It all started when I suspected one of my parishioners had stolen my umbrella. I wasn’t too sure who to blame or what I should do. So I asked the bishop for advice.

He suggested I should get my congregation together and go through the ‘Ten Commandments’.

“Watch their faces” he said. “When you get to – ‘thou shalt not steal’ - you will be able to tell who seems to be most embarrassed.”

I met the bishop again a month later and he asked if I got my umbrella back. I said yes and he asked me to explain what happened. “Well” I said “I got the congregation together as you suggested. I then started to go through the ‘Ten Commandments’ and it was when
I got to – ‘thou shalt not commit adultery’ – I remembered where I’d left it.           

CHRIS EVANS: (Play sound effect 33)

HAPPY HARRY:               Now I must tell you about a serious, yet in retrospect, very funny situation that
occurred in the summer time last year.

I was getting ready to officiate at a wedding and it was nearing the time when the bride would make her appearance. Suddenly the church warden came running up to me.

“Come quickly, come quickly” he said ushering me towards the church entrance.

“The bride has turned up topless!”

"TOPLESS?" I questioned. “Yes - naked from the waist up. The verger almost had a stroke but the father of the bride managed to restrain him.”

CHRIS EVANS: (Play sound effect 33)

HAPPY HARRY:                When we got to the door, sure enough she was topless.

“Wow!” I said “I...I...I mean - waugh - you can’t come into church looking like that.”

Exasperated, she said. “But I told them when I booked my wedding that I would be topless.”

“There must have been a misunderstanding. They probably thought you meant you weren’t going to wear a veil” I replied.

I pointed out that the ceremony couldn’t go ahead while she was dressed like that.

She continued to argue with me for a good ten minutes and finally she said, emphatically “I think I have a divine right!”

I said “My dear, you also have a divine left, but you’re not coming into my church looking like that.”

CHRIS EVANS: (Play sound effect 34)

HAPPY HARRY:               Talking about weddings, my friend, who is also a vicar, got married just a few weeks
ago. I thought - I must buy them something appropriately ecumenical – so I got
each of them one of those religious texts to hang on the wall above their bed.

For her side the text read ‘I need thee every hour’ and on his side it said ‘Lord give me strength’.

CHRIS EVANS: (Play sound effect 34)

HAPPY HARRY:               Remember to thank God in your prayers for our sense of humour. The joy and happiness it
brings is of great value to the well being of the human race.

Thank you for listening and God bless you all.

(Music begins to fade back in from half way and plays to the end)

CHRIS EVANS: (Talking over music and laughing as he speaks the first line)

Thanks so much Harry. I will still be laughing at that last one till lunchtime tomorrow.

If you would like to laugh along with Harry once more you can download the podcast.

Just visit the BBC website. Go to bbc.co.uk/Chris Evens Show and follow the link to Linger for Laughter.

Remember to tune in again tomorrow for more cheerful chuckles from the church
to coincide with Laugh at Work Week.


END

Share by: